Sitting here in the quiet, reflecting on the remnants of a busy day, I am reminded of His presence and how little time I spend just sitting with Him. At one point in my life, I was a practiced yogi and regular meditator, but since I’ve turned back to Jesus and away from the false gods that the west has somehow seemed to more readily embrace, I have been unsure how to get quiet like that again. I say my prayers when I need the stillness before an impending conflict or the wisdom before a momentous decision, but I no longer have a regular practice of just sitting and listening for His answers. Social media, television, chores, to-do lists all jockey for my attention. I’m left feeling ragged, while saying to myself, “Once I get this done” or “After one more page scroll, I’ll be able to relax.” But isn’t that just when Jesus is at our side, beckoning us to just be still? I don’t know why it’s so different, now that I’m a reformed Christian, to incorporate those times into my daily routine. It’s like I feel like I have to perform, even though I know the Bible warns us against busy minds and that our best will never even be better than filthy rags.
My husband and I tend to be go-getters, tackling major life changes all at once. Currently, I’m 7 months pregnant with our first child, we’re tilling land to grow our family farm, I’m a full-time School Counselor while he’s a full-time EMT, we are both active on the worship team at our church, and we’re preparing to build our first home together. In psychological terms, we are tackling 6 of 10 “most stressful life events” in one breath. Some of it comes from the fact that we are both divorcees, having been given a renewed vision for our lives, together, with Christ at the center of it all. Sometimes I wish He wouldn’t think so much of me or keep reinforcing that “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). The “all things” gets me every time! However, at my side, He keeps whispering in my ear and reminding me that it’s not me that’s doing any of it. These are blessings He’s poured onto my newly growing family and unless I get still, I’ll keep feeling like I’m too busy. Knowing that it is all His, reminds me to take a back seat, let go of my busy mind, and let Him take the wheel.
I may not have found the way to make this a regular practice, but I am ever so grateful that I have a husband that holds me accountable to my relationship with Christ and allows me to do the same for Him. After all, isn’t that what the “church” is for? May God meet us in our busyness and remind us of His gracious love, through the blessings that keep our lives active. May we set aside our agendas to hear His loving whispers in our ears. Most of all, may we find other believers on the path that are willing to look us in the eye and reflect Jesus’ love for us while disciplining us to be still.